The news… only FASTER! We’re racing around the Web, tracking down all the biggest stories and videos on the topics you care about most, then flinging the headlines at your iPhone screen as fast as we can. Seriously, Reddit’s going to have to come to your front page to see what’s happening. CNN’s going to have to start following you on Twitter. But most importantly, you’ll get updates on everything that’s happening way before all of your friends, making you feel at least 32% smarter and more informed than all of them. (NOTE: This is not a legal guarantee… yet…)
And we’re not just talking about the IMPORTANT stories you’re SUPPOSED to follow. Oh, sure, we’ve got all that, easily skimmable and written with context in mind so we don’t lose you. But we’re also covering the fun stuff that makes the Internet worthwhile, so you’ll get your daily dose of adorable cats, overtly-sexual Scandinavian TV commercials, insane Russian dash cam footage and things made of bacon that would not ordinarily be made of bacon.
TLDR is the fastest, most efficient and most entertaining way to get your news. WAY easier than dropping out of your current profession, going to journalism school, working as a cub reporter for some small Midwest weekly, then climbing the ladder to eventually work the international desk for a major publishing organization. You know, if you were considering that as an alternative option.